Curse you, Caller ID

You would think that Caller ID would be extremely convenient. It helps us in a lot of ways, like avoid unnecessary telemarketer/credit card calls or see whether or no it's an overseas call that's waking you up at four in the morning. But really, it doesn't. If you put factors into consideration such as old age and being technologically challenged, your whole perspective about the Caller ID is turned inside out. Let me show you an example which is replayed over and over in my household.

Ring #1: I turn over from my couch to the telephone to see who is calling and for whom the call is. No one ever hears the phone ring except me. The call is never for me because none of my friends fancy to call me and chew the fat about meaningless things such as recipes for microwave-cooked chicken and flamingo sculptures made from twigs and peanut butter.

Ring #2: I pick up the phone from the receiver and attempt to hand the phone to one of my family members. If it was an old-fashioned cord phone, I would instantly take the call, remember? But, this is a wireless phone; you need to press the TALK button now. So it continues to ring.

Ring #3: I am now looking for the family member and running all around the house. The one you're looking for has seemed to disappear at the right moment. Then, I yell out their name in hopes of them hearing my voice since they couldn't hear the phone ringing in the first place.

Ring #4: I find my victim. He/she was a) watching an Indian serials on Zee TV or CNN news at ear-bleeding levels in another room, b) cooking for three hours, c) taking a dump, d) sitting two feet away from you and somehow I didn't see them the first two times I ran around the house.

Ring #5: I get their attention. I place the phone in their hand. I NOTIFY WHO IS CALLING and yet, they look at the caller ID anyways without a clue as to who is calling. Unfortunately, they can't see clearly enough. They bring out their reading glasses from their pockets as though they were taking out a souffle out of an oven.

Ring #6: They take a second look at the Caller ID. If it's some random unknown name, you usually assume it's some rubbish call and you ignore. No, not in my family. They will try to enunciate and read out the entire name on the caller ID slowly and carefully even the first half of it is highly unrecognizable. If the name is not given, the guessing game begins. Is it an overseas call? It is pure crap? Is it a wrong number?

Ring #7: What a persistent caller! Now whoever has the phone announces to everyone in the room the name on the caller ID. Then, they ask whether or not the call should be received.

Ring #8: Someone else takes the phone and now tries to find the TALK button.

Ring #9: There is no ring #9. We have unfortunately missed the call.

This happens, um, I don't know, about four times a day for me. How about you?