Thursday, July 29, 2010

HAWK

When I applied for Stony Brook University, I did not realize how much the Women in Science and Engineering Program (aka WISE) was so curious as to know whether or not my state of mind had undergone a weekly transformation due to the unnecessary stress that follows a science major. At the end of every week, a bunch of my friends and I would receive a 200-something questions survey which would let the department know if we were danger of heading towards a madhouse asylum or if we finally gave up with our studies and became utterly convinced that 2 plus 2 did equal 5. These surveys are optional by the way. Why fill them out you ask? Well, YOUZ GIT PAID MADD MONEY SON. If you complete all 2,383,745 plus surveys, you get paid. As a poor non-work study college student who goes to a university which only offers jobs to "Work Study" students, this is the only way to make money; this and selling textbooks. Most of the surveys were multiple choice, which was not an issue. The problem was the open ending questions like "Explain any positive or negative experiences you had in the past week". Usually I would answer,"Meh" or "Gah" or some other three lettered nonsense word. I was really upset (and bored for the most part) one day so I decided to answer this question based on a story which truly happened...with a bit of exaggeration:

"I was sitting quietly in my room with my attention fixated upon Na-K ATPase pumps and Nicotinic ACh receptors, when suddenly at the corner of my eye, I noticed a dark blur shoot down from the sky. It was a hawk and between its claws was a strangled pigeon. It laid it on the newly fallen snow and started to tear straight into the sinews. Blood oozed out from its neck and the feathers were splayed around the mass murder scene. I gazed out from the window, both in bewilderment and disgust to see what the hawk would do next to its unfortunate victim. Suddenly, the hawk decided to leave and took along the dead beaten corpse, which was formally the pigeon. I had a test the next day. I failed. So I consider this both a positive and negative experience. Yes, it was negative because I did not do so well on my exam, but I also managed to experience a moment which was Planet Earth worthy. I think David Attenborough would be proud to narrate my story as it is indeed a captivating one."

If I read that, I would pay that student twice as much because they put the effort to write something in that stupid little HTML box.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Take a look

I found this following statement after scrolling down a mad ass-long comment on stereogum.com

"Nobody reads long comments, douche."

I suggest all out there to take this advice seriously. Because honestly, no one wants to read a saga of a comment when you want to just find out whether you liked the article or not. It's the truth.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Peep Show-esque Thoughts I Get While On Campus

"When will anyone realise that tights are not substitutes for pants...especially when you don't have the figure for wearing them in the first place?"

"Out of all the trees, my RHD chose to have her occasional smoke, she picks the one right in front of my room. Brilliant."

"I will never understand how some people can take three bottles of beer within two hours. I can't even down that much water in such a time span."

"A Zebra Path is no longer a Zebra Path if its stripes are red and white. Then it should be called a Candy Cane Path. A squiggly candy cane path for that matter"

"Ah yes, the Engineering Buildings: a realm in which English is no longer the dominant language, females are seemingly not part of the population and socially-challenged, puberty-deprived FOBs rule the kingdom."

"Sometimes, the day is so dull that you just wanna burst out in song and dance and everyone will follow behind you like its some crazed Bollywood film and it feels like everything will be all right...except it never does...like Dancer In The Dark."

"Why does the garbage room on the guy's floor smell exactly like their rooms? I think that answers for itself."

"Newsletters is like the pathetic second cousin of the newspaper. Kinda like Twitter to blogs."

"I love it how idiosyncratic personalities and habits are never embraced until you reached college. A dreadlocked fellow wearing a batik patterned sarong, a neon green jacket and yellow fishnet stockings who fancies Hello Kitty for a backpack is just completely acceptable within campus grounds."

"Plaid shirt + Bermuda shorts + long socks with American flag + loafers + bow tie (optional) = Professor."

"I am afraid that our university has turned into the ones you see in the front of a brochure when you're planning to apply for colleges...you know, the ones where there's a fair-haired girl laying in the grass or a guy with a baseball cap reading under a tree. Too bad they don't know about the geese shit."

"Who needs to work out? I think I can just lose weight from walking from one side of the campus to the other. It's brilliant."

"Don't complain about how everything in college sucks. Just make the best out of your experience and shut the fuck up."

:Pfredd

Thursday, August 20, 2009

These Are My Twisted Words

So, I visited the Radiohead website a few days back and once again, Jonny Greenwood has notified the public that a new song, "These Are My Twisted Words", has been completed by the band. Unlike their pay-what-you-want album, In Rainbows, this song is free and officially available for download from W.A.S.T.E. , the site which manages all goods Radiohead and such. Along with the song, the zip file also provides you with artwork designed by Stanley Donwood and Tchock (which they advise you to print it out on tracing paper), a front cover picture, and a text file stating the folder's contents. The artwork consists of ten or so pages of eerie dead trees in a grey scale which both Stanley and Tchock advise the listener to print it out on tracing paper. The track itself, I feel, sounds as though Weird Fishes has undergone a Kid A phase.

I don't want to put any of their stuff on my blog post because I don't have permission to do so and I respect the band enough to not do such a silly thing and post in such an open place like the Internet. If you want to listen to the song, go to their website, Dead Air Space (the address is available on the right side of the blog), and download it yourself. Or just download it from some other website like Stereogum or something. Then if you don't like it, just dump it in the Recycle Bin. That's the beauty of computers, no? There's no physical waste involved and I think that's how Radiohead would like it :)

Monday, August 17, 2009

Curse you, Caller ID

You would think that Caller ID would be extremely convenient. It helps us in a lot of ways, like avoid unnecessary telemarketer/credit card calls or see whether or no it's an overseas call that's waking you up at four in the morning. But really, it doesn't. If you put factors into consideration such as old age and being technologically challenged, your whole perspective about the Caller ID is turned inside out. Let me show you an example which is replayed over and over in my household.

Ring #1: I turn over from my couch to the telephone to see who is calling and for whom the call is. No one ever hears the phone ring except me. The call is never for me because none of my friends fancy to call me and chew the fat about meaningless things such as recipes for microwave-cooked chicken and flamingo sculptures made from twigs and peanut butter.

Ring #2: I pick up the phone from the receiver and attempt to hand the phone to one of my family members. If it was an old-fashioned cord phone, I would instantly take the call, remember? But, this is a wireless phone; you need to press the TALK button now. So it continues to ring.

Ring #3: I am now looking for the family member and running all around the house. The one you're looking for has seemed to disappear at the right moment. Then, I yell out their name in hopes of them hearing my voice since they couldn't hear the phone ringing in the first place.

Ring #4: I find my victim. He/she was a) watching an Indian serials on Zee TV or CNN news at ear-bleeding levels in another room, b) cooking for three hours, c) taking a dump, d) sitting two feet away from you and somehow I didn't see them the first two times I ran around the house.

Ring #5: I get their attention. I place the phone in their hand. I NOTIFY WHO IS CALLING and yet, they look at the caller ID anyways without a clue as to who is calling. Unfortunately, they can't see clearly enough. They bring out their reading glasses from their pockets as though they were taking out a souffle out of an oven.

Ring #6: They take a second look at the Caller ID. If it's some random unknown name, you usually assume it's some rubbish call and you ignore. No, not in my family. They will try to enunciate and read out the entire name on the caller ID slowly and carefully even the first half of it is highly unrecognizable. If the name is not given, the guessing game begins. Is it an overseas call? It is pure crap? Is it a wrong number?

Ring #7: What a persistent caller! Now whoever has the phone announces to everyone in the room the name on the caller ID. Then, they ask whether or not the call should be received.

Ring #8: Someone else takes the phone and now tries to find the TALK button.

Ring #9: There is no ring #9. We have unfortunately missed the call.

This happens, um, I don't know, about four times a day for me. How about you?

Friday, August 14, 2009

Say Hellz Yea to Yeasayer!

I was expecting much from this local indie band in their live performance this Thursday at Pier 54, but wow, they were amazing.

Kee Naam!
So, you may be asking as my grandparents did: "Vhat? A Who-sayer?". Yeasayer is an indie band based in Brooklyn, NY and definitely far from ordinary. Their music, I believe, is like no other. It's refreshing, it's unexpected, and it's even better when you hear it live. According to the band, their music sounds like "Middle eastern-psych-snap-gospel". I thought they had that sort of vibe but with a hint of experimental synth-pop from the 80's and a smidgen of traditional African beats. My mom, who was shopping in Chelsea three blocks away, heard their music breaking though the silence of the night sky and thought it sounded like Nepalese mountain tunes. If you really want to have a good idea of what they sound like....um, just YouTube them or something...that always does justice.

If You Wanna Get It Big Time, Go Head and Get It Get It Big Time
I asked a bunch of people who would have some interest in listening to these guys, but everyone was busy that day with other plans. Since I really wanted to see these guys and most of my concert plans for the summer were shot dead with a heavy bullet of last-minute family plans, I went alone. And since I'm such a loser, I went one hour earlier to stand in line. Oh, but was it worth it. I was fucking sixth in line. SIXTH. Plus, it was free. So is was a first-come, first serve basis.

Heyyyy...
As I was sitting there on the dirty gravel (or darkened seagull shit, I don't know), I saw someone who I felt was one of the guitarists from Yeasayer. He just frankly walked out from the venue for a walk around the park. I started to stare at him for few reasons:

1) One of the members of Yeasayer is a Desi man named Anand.

2) I'm a Desi. If you were unaware of the workings of the Desi mind, I will clarify it for you. You can write a fucking book about this kind of crap. When a Desi sees another Desi (who, keep in mind, is a complete stranger), one of them is bound to stare down the other as though their eyes have a strong magnetic attraction to the other's entire body. Whether or not he is in the band has nothing to do with my staring. I'm totally against this act, but it's in my blood. I can't help it.

3) Damn, he was fine!

4) I wanted to get a good look at his face because I didn't want to make the same mistake as I did when me and my friends found a pseudo-Caleb Followill at the Kings of Leon concert. (Refer to previous post)

5) For all I know, he could have been related to me.

After he was far enough in the distance, the girl next to me asked: "Was that Anand?". Damn it, it must of been him if she noticed him too. Oh well, we'll just have to wait for him when he walks back. Ten minutes pass by. Then twenty. Then thirty. Where the fuck did he go? Did some hobo push him into the river and watch him dissolve like alka-seltzer in the "waters" of the Hudson? That would suck bollocks. To pass the time, I talked to the girl sitting next to me. Wow, she was actually normal. For once, I'm not next to some pseudo-art punks who look like they stepped out of my mom's high school yearbook or wear Che Guevara shirts without a bloody idea of who he really is. Normal is good. We decided that when "Anand" came back, we would get his attention and take each other's pictures with him.

My Brain Fell Into the Hudson
And, oh lookie over there, here he comes. Shit, we shouldv'e grabbed him when we had the chance. There was no one on the line then. He was stopped once or twice for pictures and then he came near us. I went up first. I though he was gonna stand there like a stiff plank and lean towards me from a foot away. But no. He freaking grabbed me like we were cousins and he pressed his head near mine for about two seconds with a goofy smile on his face. Damn, that felt nice. Then he stood up straight and the girl on the line took our picture. I thanked him and the other girl went up. Holy shit. My hands were shaking when i was taking their photo. Haha, he's not grabbing her. He asked me if I was putting this Facebook, but I said no, I never do. Then he left with his cute little smile. Farewell, Anand bhai. We looked at each other's pictures. Apparently, I was leaning into his shoulder. When the fuck did that happen? I was so lost in his embrace that I totally forgot what the hell I was doing. The girl thought my picture came out better. Of course it did, haha.

I'm glad I didn't wear my brown shirt that day

We both started to think whether or not we were gonna put this up on Facebook. Now that he mentioned it, maybe I will. I never would have though of it. Thanks dude.

Hold a Sec...
The line began to move five minutes later. I saw a few stalls up, but I wasn't bothered by it (although I should've, since they were selling Yeasayer tees). I ended up right in the front. Front row center. It can't get better than this. Well, it didn't really. All of us had to wait for another hour or so for the opening act to come out. Opening act? What opening act? I don't recall this. I overheard from some losers next to me that it was some band called Amazing Baby. They too are an indie band...but indie-er. Who the hell are they? I don't want to see no babies doing amazing shit okay.

The Name Game
But then I was eventually exposed to these babies. And trust me, they ain't that amazing. Apparently, they played psychedelic stuff. Some points they sounded like Pink Floyd. Other moments they sounded like an angry Echo and the Bunnymen. I didn't see anything special about their sound. Just your generic indie band who attempts to outshine Led Zep or David Bowie, swilling Heineken here and there and flinging sweat into your faces. There was no way you could not avoid comparing everything about their music, including themselves. So that's what I did during the show. The lead guitarist had a hair style reminiscent of Ben Shepard, the bassist of Soundgarden. So I just dubbed him "Ben". The rhythm guitarist looked like my college friend, Andrey. So now his name is "Andrey". The singer was a carbon copy of Jarvis Cocker circa 2002. Too bad Jarvis is 10 times cooler. He had no chest hair. I found that really strange. The unfortunate bassist was not awarded with a nickname. I ignored him. He wasn't so exciting. The drummer, I swear, looked like Adrien Brody...cept he was Desi...and skinnier..and hippier. I named him Brody Bhai. Then Ben's girlfriend and her friend came to sing back up vocals. I just assumed it was his girlfriend cuz he kissed her. More likely she's his fuck body. That's how rock stars are. The only guy that really had the talent was Ben. I really hope they don't find my blog.
Um guys, turn around...the crowd's THIS way

By the third song, some weirdo started dancing around in a big circle and bumping into people, including me. His dancing wasn't even matching the music. This wasn't even the main band. WTF!? Thankfully, he got thrown out.

Call Me Helen Keller
The moment they left, I realised how deaf I had become. Thanks guys. Now I won't be able to hear what I actually came for. Plus, there was a swarm of photographers shooting pics here and there in front of the stage while the band was playing. This one lady had a translucent cover over her flash so that it would increase its intensity. She took 10 or so pictures during every song. By the end of the gig, I was legally blind. Great. Now I'm blind and deaf. This is the ultimate concert experience.

Five minutes before Yeasayer was coming on, the sky decided to take a wee leak. You gotta be kidding me. Luckily, the minute the guys went on, the rain stopped. They are so magical. Why couldn't that happen when I went to see Kings of Leon?

They Fished My Brain Out Of the Hudson & Ate It With A Dollop of Rainbow Sauce
I'm usually the type who would sing really loudly when I see a live band. However, I was so captivated by their music that I just stood there swirling my head around like a dazed hippie and mouthed out the words. The lighting for the show matched their music: colourful, exciting, and at some points, surreal. They played all of their songs from their album, All Hour Cymbals (which is not much, considering that's the only album they have). Songs such as "Sunrise", "Tightrope" and "Wait for the Summer" were awesome on their album, but even better live. Chris's spastic dance moves and microphone handling was strangely magnetic to me. Anand's bird-like head jerking was working the same way as well. Ira was just Ira. He's one of those guys that just stand there playing the bass (which not a very exciting instrument to play, I feel) and be extremely cool. I think it was his new mousse top hairdo. Random guys in the crowd were screaming, "I love you Ira!!" and he responded jokingly with a shy wave and placing his hand softly against his chest. The drummer in the back (the original one, Luke, left the band) had the most pathetic face. It was I-need-a-huge-hug-face. There was also this random black dude in the back handling some other percussion and synth beats. I had to give him massive credit. that was a difficult job to do, juggling between all the sounds and wearing a smile on his face through. You could tell the guy was enjoying it. Everyone was. Everyone but the poor drummer that is. His face wanted to make me cry. Maybe that's why they put him in the back.

Hodocahtay!
The guys finished their last song and Chris thanked the crowd like twenty times (if your an indie band, that's what you mostly run on --- that, and beer). They left the stage and surprisingly, a quarter of the crowd immediately left. Some fans you are. Me and the rest of the fans stayed for an encore. They came back (even though they were done) and Chris announced, "now we're gonna make up a song". The first have they made up, and the second part was obviously a song they're working on for their new album. Then they played "Wait for the Wintertime". It sounded so psychotic and the colours followed along. What a way to end the show! Chris then thanked us again fifty more times and left because they really had nothing else to sing. The crowd cleared off quickly and I was able to go back to my grandparent's place without a problem.

That was one of the best concerts I've ever been to. No really. There is usually something that goes wrong, but nothing did. The picture with Anand, my position in front of the stage, the final song, everything. Damn it, I wish every concert was like that.


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Come On People

I don't know if you've recently heard about the sudden rising of the "Birthers" in the United States. Well, if you didn't, I just alarmed you about it. Basically, there is this small group of people who whole-heartedly believe that President Barack Obama is not an American Citizen and are finding inaccurate information to defend their argument. Just so you know, a poll was done and apparently 12% of Americans either consider Hawaii not an official state or have no idea that Hawaii is a state. That's really sad.

During the 2008 Presidential Election, I don't recall seeing McCain opponents have a debate of whether or not he was an American citizen since he was born on land part of the Panama Canal. As we all know, the Panama Canal was once owned by the United States. You would think that there would be some ignorant folks who would easily misinterpret this fact and be utterly convinced that he was not an American citizen. Sounds kinda stupid, right? Well, an argument against McCain's citizenship is as equally unjustifiable as an argument against Obama's. There is no point in arguing this now. What the people have to really focus on is the state of our nation, not whether or not our president is from a US state. Furthermore, I'm not making this argument in support or against any of the former candidates. I just want the public to understand how ignorance and narrow-mindedness can cause such insignificant problems. Give it a rest, people.

Aside from that, there has also been protests angrily disrupting town hall meetings on health care reform. We've seen random protesters break into town hall meetings during the Bush era. A majority of them were young, Ivy-Leagued Liberals who ran into the buildings and began screaming about something deeply neglected like the conflict in Iraq (it's not really a war, we all know that) or the environment. But what's this? Who are the majority of the people protesting at these town halls? White, elderly individuals from the Midwest. Old people are complaining about the health care reform in fear of their Medicare being taken away (since they are all under Medicare). If they were aware about Obama's proposed health care policies, they would know that they would be benefitting from the reform. If they were really aware, they would realise that the government is not planning to remove Medicare. As a matter of fact, the government was planning to increase Medicare reimbursement payments for the elderly.

Also, many individuals are not for a single-payer system and for any form of "socialism". Well, so I guess you guys don't want Medicare then? Or how about help for the unemployed? Or Social Security payments? When will these people understand that Socialism is not a bad thing. If it's a practical form of it placed into the government and it functions properly, so be it. Many people connect socialism to the raw, extreme forms used in the U.S.S.R or Germany a few decades back. We shouldn't use the past to instill fear in the public. We should use it to learn from our mistakes and find an alternative to avoid recreating these problems. If you think getting up and acting like a spoiled bitch without a clue about politics is gonna get you anywhere, it ain't. Ultimate Fail.

Then the talk about the death penal also fucked everything up. The idea of the death penal was brought to you by our lovely Sarah Palin. Bloody Palin. You just had to open you big ol' poopshoot for a mouth and spit out more crap than you can chew. Then the crap flies into the ignorant Americans out there and process it into factual information. Also, these people are just taking all which is considered bad and jumbling it altogether as a form of protest. Things such as Nazism and racial discrimination are arbitrarily introduced into the topic of health care. They have nothing to do with health care! What is wrong with you protesters? If you're going to protest, you should have a viable reason as to why you're starting the protest in the first place. These protesters are as transparent as wet rice paper flattened via steamroller.

I was surprised how after all these years, a nation such as the United States would still have such simple-minded bungholes who are completely unaware of the issues. Not only are they unaware, but they don't bother to take the time and actually understand the way government policies work. Everything has to be done when it's asked for without a question or doubt on how it happened. If the people want to be part of the system, you must know about what is going on out there. Participation and debate is what makes democracy. Unfortunately, these town hall protesters define screaming and shouting over others as participation. You would think a place like the US, which continually boasts about its growing state of diversity and openness to ideas such as freedom and well-being for all mankind would respect these qualities. But many don't. You know how in your 4th grade history class, you read about how young our nation is? Well, the way its citizens act I realized one thing. Yes, our country is still young. It's a young and immature little rascal.

Now I'll shutup and go watch Peep Show. That's some good shit right there.